Guides and resources
I’ve separated these into one free guide for anyone and a small library of resources I use with current clients. You do not need to sort through everything. Start with what actually fits the work you’re doing.
Free guide · for anyone
Listening is more than staying quiet while somebody else talks.
This guide walks through preparing yourself to listen, staying with the feeling, reflecting what you heard, asking useful questions, and responding with empathy. It is meant to be practiced, not simply read once.
Client support resources
I usually suggest one of these when it fits something we’ve been working on. They aren’t a reading list, and you don’t need to work through all of them. Current clients receive the guide we’ve discussed at no additional cost through the secure client portal.
Not currently a client? Start with the free listening guide above. The other guides are not publicly downloadable from this page. When the Etsy shop is ready, purchase links can be added here for people who want to use them on their own.
A five-step process for returning to one regrettable conflict without starting the fight all over again. Name what happened, understand both experiences, take responsibility, and make a plan for next time.
Five ways to keep knowing one another and notice the small moments when connection is being offered. It brings together Love Maps, open-ended questions, positive qualities, bids for connection, and everyday turning toward.
For moments when you know something is happening inside but have trouble putting it into words. It includes a feeling wheel, a larger phrase library, and clear needs prompts to help you tell your partner what is going on without asking them to read your mind.
For a recurring difference that keeps leaving both of you stuck. The guide helps you hear the values, fears, and hopes beneath each position before trying to compromise.
A practical set of tools for noticing the connection between situations, thoughts, emotions, body reactions, and what you do next—then choosing one change that may help.
An introduction to the idea that different parts of us can carry different fears, roles, and ways of protecting us. It explains the basic IFS model and what self-leadership can look like.
Use them at your own pace
If either of you is too flooded to listen, pause and return later.
These resources are educational and are not a substitute for therapy, crisis care, or individualized clinical advice. If a guide keeps leading back into the same escalation, that may be useful information about where you need more support.
When a guide is not enough
Choose the couples or individual intake in the secure scheduling portal. You do not need to finish a guide before you begin.
