How we begin
Before we start trying to fix things, I want to understand what’s actually happening.
Every couple starts here, including couples coming in after an affair. I don’t want to build a treatment plan around whichever argument happens to come up in the first session. This gives me a fuller picture, and it gives both of you a clearer idea of what is going on.
The first several appointments
I don’t treat this as paperwork to get through.
These appointments are part of the therapy. I’m getting to know each of you, the relationship you built, where it breaks down, and what is still worth protecting.
- 01
Joint 100-minute intake
We go through the history of the relationship—how you met, what drew you together, the important transitions and injuries along the way, and when the current problems began. Both of you have room to tell the story. I’ll slow us down when needed and pay attention to what feels most urgent now.
- 02
Individual conversations
I meet once with each of you. There may be things that are easier to say without having to manage your partner’s reaction in the moment.
- 03
Gottman Relationship Checkup
I often describe this as an MRI of the relationship. You each complete the online assessment separately, and it gives me a detailed scan of specific strengths and challenges across friendship, intimacy, conflict, trust, commitment, stress, and individual concerns. It helps us see where the relationship is strong and where we need to look more closely.
- 04
100-minute assessment review and roadmap
I put everything together and walk you through what I see. You’ll know where I think the relationship gets stuck and what I recommend doing next.
Each part is scheduled separately. Current rates and practical details are on the FAQ & Fees page.
After the review
Then I’ll tell you what I see and what I think we should work on.
I won’t hand you a score and send you home. I’ll explain where I think the relationship gets stuck and what I believe we should address first.
For some couples, that is conflict or the distance that has grown between them. When there has been an affair, this is when we move into direct affair-recovery work and begin with atonement.
How affair recovery worksReady to schedule
If you’re ready to begin, request the 100-minute couples intake.
That appointment starts the assessment. We’ll schedule the remaining steps one at a time.