How we begin
Before we start trying to fix things, I want to understand what’s actually happening.
Every couple starts here, including couples coming in after an affair. I don’t want to build a treatment plan around whichever argument happens to come up in the first session. This gives me a fuller picture, and it gives both of you a clearer idea of what is going on.
The first several appointments
I don’t treat this as paperwork to get through.
These appointments are part of the therapy. I’m getting to know each of you, the relationship you built, where it breaks down, and what is still worth protecting.
- 01
Joint 100-minute intake
We start with a detailed look at what is bringing you into therapy now—the current challenges, what they look like from each side, how they are affecting the relationship, and what feels most urgent. Then we step back and go through the history of the relationship: how you met, what drew you together, and the important transitions and injuries along the way. Both of you have room to tell the story.
- 02
Individual conversations
I meet once with each of you. There may be things that are easier to say without having to manage your partner’s reaction in the moment.
- 03
Gottman Relationship Checkup
You each complete the online assessment separately. It gives me detailed information about friendship, intimacy, conflict, trust, commitment, stress, and individual concerns. It helps us see where the relationship is strong and where we need to look more closely.
- 04
100-minute assessment review and starting plan
After I have met with each of you and reviewed the Checkup, we meet together again. I put the pieces together, explain the strengths I see, and name the patterns that seem to be keeping you stuck.
Each part is scheduled separately. Current rates and practical details are on the FAQ & Fees page.
What happens next
Then the work becomes more specific.
The review gives us a starting point. I’ll recommend what needs attention first, and we’ll decide how to structure the work from there.
For some couples, that means ongoing sessions focused on conflict, friendship, or the distance that has grown between them. When there has been an affair, this is when we move into direct affair-recovery work and begin with atonement.
How affair recovery worksScheduling
Request the 100-minute couples intake to start.
That appointment begins the assessment. The remaining steps are scheduled one at a time.