You keep going back over the story
You replay dates, conversations, and details, hoping they will finally line up in a way that makes sense.
Individual therapy after betrayal
You can begin on your own after betrayal.
After an affair or serious betrayal, your mind may keep replaying conversations while other people are already asking what you’re going to do. If your partner isn’t coming to therapy, we can still focus on what this has done to you.
What this can do to you
The betrayal may be taking over your whole day.
I won’t push you toward staying or leaving. Early on, it may be hard enough to sleep, concentrate, or trust your own thinking. We’ll start there.
Your body stays braced
You may be exhausted and still unable to settle. Sleep, appetite, concentration, or ordinary quiet can feel different now.
You don’t trust your own judgment
You may be questioning what you missed, what to believe now, and whether you can rely on yourself.
Everyone wants an answer
Other people may have strong opinions while you are still trying to understand what you actually want.
What we do first
We start with what is making the next day hard.
You may need help getting through the immediate shock before you are ready to make a permanent decision.
We may talk about sleep, boundaries, the questions you need answered, and what real accountability would look like. If the relationship ends, we can also work through the grief and help you trust your own judgment again.
Start with what to do in the first days after discovering an affair.
Read what accountability after an affair can look likeAn important difference
This is your therapy.
I am not acting as the couple’s therapist or carrying messages between partners when the other person is not participating.
If your partner later wants to join, we need to talk first.
Depending on what has already been discussed individually, couples work may require a separate plan or a different couples therapist.
Scheduling individual therapy
The first appointment can focus on what this has done to you.
We can address sleep, concentration, boundaries, and immediate questions first. Long-term decisions about the relationship can wait.